Apologies to Frank Zappa for the title of the post, but I couldn’t resist.

I got a new garage door opener a couple weeks ago, and it came with a 9-volt battery. I appreciate it when the batteries are included, but in this case I had to chuckle. Yes, it was a strange and wonderful off-brand battery called “Golden Power” direct from China, apparently.

It reminded me of a recent conversation with my pal Jay, who sings in Skinny Moo. He was talking about writing a book that would profile generic brand items and either recommend them (to save money) or warn you not to use them (because their quality is crappy).

One of the inspirations for his idea came from some off-brand batteries that he was using for his in-ear monitors. The monitors allow him to hear his vocals and the rest of the band while performing, and there’s nothing quite like being in the middle of a song and having the sound just disappear. Normally a Duracell or Energizer battery will last for several 4+ hour gigs.  The generic battery crapped out after about 15 minutes.

So Jay, this golden power’s for you, and for anyone else who uses lots of batteries. My recommendation: trash the off-brand battery and go with a name brand.